Forney on Female Self-Esteem

by moemurray

Matt Forney has written a case against female self-esteem. I suspect that this is very much him preaching to the choir and trolling the trollable. But who cares. Let’s take a look. Forney writes:

Whenever a girl I’m talking to brags about how she’s “confident” and “strong,” I can feel my dick deflating like a punctured tire

Matt: Whenever an aggressive man I’m talking to brags about how he can totally kick my ass no problem, I can feel my limbic system adjusting from “This could be trouble” to “this will be annoying at worst.” Understand? You have a sampling error. The guys who say they can kick my ass are a different group from the guys who actually try.

When a girl tells Matt that she’s confident, what she’s revealing is that she is in fact insecure. So if Matt likes insecure girls, why doesn’t he like it when a girl tells him she’s confident? Either:

1. Matt in fact likes confident girls not insecure girls, but he doesn’t realize this.

2. The fact that an insecure girl would go around saying she is confident is a sign of other problems, particularly poor social skills.

It’s a bit of both, but what’s really going is that Matt likes hot girls. And hot girls have learned that their beauty is power. They are thus (watch the hands, Matt) confident in their ability to use their beauty to their advantage. They are confident in the truest sense: repeated success has led them to trust their beauty to get them what they want.

Matt says:

Confidence doesn’t give men erections; vulnerability does.

If you’re very nearsighted like me, here’s a fun experiment you can try. Go someplace where you’ll find a bunch of girls of varying levels of attractiveness. Now take off your glasses. Ideally, you shouldn’t be able to see any of the girl’s faces or even their bodies very well, but you should be able to evaluate their body language. Now look at which ones have open and confident body language, and which ones appear closed and defensive. Got it? Now put your glasses back on. Did you observe anything about about the relationship between confidence and attractiveness? Do you think you can predict which girls are hot without your glasses on?

In the real world, beauty gives men erections. And confidence follows beauty for precisely this reason. I find it helps to check the real world now and again.

As befits a manosphere writer, Forney does a bunch of this sort of thing:

Feminists can screech as loud as they want, but they will never change this fundamental reality; men accord respect based on merit, and if girls want to play in our world, they’ll have to obey our rules.

Hardcore, bro. The thing is, really beautiful women often don’t play in our world. They get all the same propaganda about being strong independent women as the average and unattractive women, but it’s too easy for them to succeed as soft, co-dependent women. For an average girl, it’s not so easy. Thus such girls don’t have the confidence (there’s that word again) to buck the system. If a man isn’t born with the strength and drive to carve out his own path in the world, he’ll do more or less what the people in charge suggest. The same goes for women.

Forney’s basic problem is that he’s operating from a naive model of confidence and self-esteem. He treats as vaguely correct the factual statements about confidence, only disagreeing with normative statements. This leads him to say things like:

Women don’t want to have high self-esteem.

Which is like saying women don’t want to be beautiful. Really, what he’s getting at is that women don’t want to do the sort of things which, if they were men, would give them high self-esteem. Or just: Women don’t want to be men.

Forney strikes me as one of those people too fascinated with exposing the contradictions of the conventional wisdom. Eventually, you get bored of picking on the poor, bedraggled conventional wisdom and just want to know: How does it actually work? Matt, you’re a grown man. Don’t you think it’s time you raised your game?